Massive Shin Bruise

First post in over FOUR YEARS, can you believe it!

This is a real beaut though, and one of the classics where I’ve no idea how it happened. Although I’m willing to put money on some combination of the icy Norwegian winter and alcohol, as that combo is definitely a recurring theme on here. Sorry for terrible photo quality.

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Ass Bruise

Uhh yeah, fell down some stairs. This bruise is from the first impact so it’s the result of my entire body weight on one brick stair edge. I don’t normally go around posting pictures of my arse on the internet but come on, this bruise is just too good.

 

 

Some other bruises as well, though nothing to compete with that, obviously. It’s a wonder I didn’t break any bones to be honest, my ribs and shoulder are pretty sore as well.

 

 

 

 


Holiday Bruise

I went on a holiday and I got bruised. Obviously.

 

 

As I do every summer, I went up north to the island where my nan grew up. For the last few years, the big highlight has been the annual FISHING FESTIVAL, and this time was no different. It wasn’t at the festival I got bruised though (true story, see the “sober” tag!?), it was on my journey home. I couldn’t even sit down in my seat on the flight like a normal person without getting bruised.

Also, when taking these pics I accidentally banged my knee against the table and I suspect there will be decent bruisage tomorrow.

Also also, I now have a phone with a much better camera, and the wordpress app as well, so I predict a shiny great near future for this blog. Aw yeah.


Swollen Foot Bruise

Today, ladies and gentlemen, we have a returning guest star on the blog. The last time Annicken was bruised enough to end up here, a lot of people apparently had trouble making out which part of her body, or at least of her leg, was in the picture. It’s her upper thigh you mentalistis, it’s not her fucking knee.

ANYWAY. This time you should have no problem locating the bruisage on her, but you might have more difficulty trying to figure out what’s happened to her. I certainly have no idea. Annicken, if you’re reading this, care to share the story with us…?


Spectacular fall update

As we all (?) know, bruises and scratches and cuts etc can change quite quickly. Not sure if that is actually the case here, but I’ve certainly seen a few today that I didn’t notice yesterday. The sorest one is on my foot but there’s somehow no discolouration, so no use taking a pic.

Anyhow:

I was wearing a bandage over this in work today but I don’t think it’s helped much. Sure, no more dirt has got in but it’s no better either. Tried cleaning this with soap, thought that would be very painful, but it wasn’t. It also didn’t help though, so maybe I was just doing it wrong.

This was probably the first point of impact when I fell. It seemed to happen pretty slowly so I was sure I would be able to stop it from happening, but I obviously didn’t. Probably landed on this hand and then rolled onto my left shoulder or something. And then my right arm again, and then both my knees???? Idk.

You (obviously) can’t see it all that well in this pic, but I noticed the scratches on my left hand/wrist went further down than I thought, and turning more bruise-ish as well.


Spectacular fall

I fell on the street yesterday. And I wasn’t even particularly drunk, it was on my way out rather than on my way back home as is more common obvs. This could have gone a whole lot worse, as I actually had a glass in my bag which was smashed, but no broken glass anywhere in my skin thankfully.

Some of these obviously look less dramatic now that the blood’s washed off and all, and there’s the ever recurring crappy laptop camera issue, but even so I’m sure you can imagine the combined effect of all these scratches and bruises.

1. Left shoulder

2. Right hand, palm

3. Right knee

4. Left hand, knuckle

5. Side of left knee

6. Left elbow

7. Left hand and wrist

I’m also pretty sure that everyone saw my underpants when this happened.


Damaged Ligament Bruise

I’ve been off crutches for a week after I dislocated my knee, and the bruises that I already had when that happened are beginning to fade.

However, a few days ago as I was visiting my sister, she noticed that the back of my knee was massively bruised. I hadn’t even realised (it’s a difficult place to see anything much even when you’re trying, as I’ve discovered) because it didn’t hurt, but it was one of the most painful places while my knee was still dislocated. And the doctors said that I’d damaged and somehow “stretched” (but not torn, thank god) the ligament so my theory is that the bruising is from that. Because while I’m no ligament expert, you can see how the bruise is pretty much in a straight line, and if you feel the back of your knee you’ll see how there’s something just under the skin which I’m guessing is the ligament that I damaged. This theory is supported by google image search so it must be valid.

From what I can tell, it looks like it’s fading now, more yellowish anyhow. Fascinating stuff eh!


Bruised and dislocated

The bruises are mostly still from crawling through a secret tunnel the other night. However, last night whilst dancing in a highly intoxicated state at Get Dancy!, I fell over and landed on my knee somehow, and noticed that the kneecap was pointing in a highly unnatural angle. I got it back in place somehow and carried on dancing probably, and making out with someone certainly, but it’s pretty sore still so I didn’t sleep well and can’t walk properly and have phoned my mum to come pick me up and take care of me and tell me that everything is going to be ok.

 

 


Urban Exploration Bruises

Went crawling through a secret tunnel early one morning with my buddy Jørgen. I was afraid it would be full of spiders which it was not, just scraped my knees instead which I can live with.

It actually looks more painful in real life than it does in these pics. Hopefully it will look even worse in the next couple of days so that it can be captured decently on my phone camera.


Unknown Bruise

I really have to start paying more attention.