Massive Shin Bruise

First post in over FOUR YEARS, can you believe it!

This is a real beaut though, and one of the classics where I’ve no idea how it happened. Although I’m willing to put money on some combination of the icy Norwegian winter and alcohol, as that combo is definitely a recurring theme on here. Sorry for terrible photo quality.

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Ass Bruise

Uhh yeah, fell down some stairs. This bruise is from the first impact so it’s the result of my entire body weight on one brick stair edge. I don’t normally go around posting pictures of my arse on the internet but come on, this bruise is just too good.

 

 

Some other bruises as well, though nothing to compete with that, obviously. It’s a wonder I didn’t break any bones to be honest, my ribs and shoulder are pretty sore as well.

 

 

 

 


Holiday Bruise

I went on a holiday and I got bruised. Obviously.

 

 

As I do every summer, I went up north to the island where my nan grew up. For the last few years, the big highlight has been the annual FISHING FESTIVAL, and this time was no different. It wasn’t at the festival I got bruised though (true story, see the “sober” tag!?), it was on my journey home. I couldn’t even sit down in my seat on the flight like a normal person without getting bruised.

Also, when taking these pics I accidentally banged my knee against the table and I suspect there will be decent bruisage tomorrow.

Also also, I now have a phone with a much better camera, and the wordpress app as well, so I predict a shiny great near future for this blog. Aw yeah.


Spectacular fall

I fell on the street yesterday. And I wasn’t even particularly drunk, it was on my way out rather than on my way back home as is more common obvs. This could have gone a whole lot worse, as I actually had a glass in my bag which was smashed, but no broken glass anywhere in my skin thankfully.

Some of these obviously look less dramatic now that the blood’s washed off and all, and there’s the ever recurring crappy laptop camera issue, but even so I’m sure you can imagine the combined effect of all these scratches and bruises.

1. Left shoulder

2. Right hand, palm

3. Right knee

4. Left hand, knuckle

5. Side of left knee

6. Left elbow

7. Left hand and wrist

I’m also pretty sure that everyone saw my underpants when this happened.


Damaged Ligament Bruise

I’ve been off crutches for a week after I dislocated my knee, and the bruises that I already had when that happened are beginning to fade.

However, a few days ago as I was visiting my sister, she noticed that the back of my knee was massively bruised. I hadn’t even realised (it’s a difficult place to see anything much even when you’re trying, as I’ve discovered) because it didn’t hurt, but it was one of the most painful places while my knee was still dislocated. And the doctors said that I’d damaged and somehow “stretched” (but not torn, thank god) the ligament so my theory is that the bruising is from that. Because while I’m no ligament expert, you can see how the bruise is pretty much in a straight line, and if you feel the back of your knee you’ll see how there’s something just under the skin which I’m guessing is the ligament that I damaged. This theory is supported by google image search so it must be valid.

From what I can tell, it looks like it’s fading now, more yellowish anyhow. Fascinating stuff eh!


Unknown Bruise

I really have to start paying more attention.

 


Bonus Phone Bruises

Uhh. Found these on my phone. As per usual, no memory of any of it (not even of taking the pictures, actually).