Ass Bruise

Uhh yeah, fell down some stairs. This bruise is from the first impact so it’s the result of my entire body weight on one brick stair edge. I don’t normally go around posting pictures of my arse on the internet but come on, this bruise is just too good.



Some other bruises as well, though nothing to compete with that, obviously. It’s a wonder I didn’t break any bones to be honest, my ribs and shoulder are pretty sore as well.






Spectacular fall update

As we all (?) know, bruises and scratches and cuts etc can change quite quickly. Not sure if that is actually the case here, but I’ve certainly seen a few today that I didn’t notice yesterday. The sorest one is on my foot but there’s somehow no discolouration, so no use taking a pic.


I was wearing a bandage over this in work today but I don’t think it’s helped much. Sure, no more dirt has got in but it’s no better either. Tried cleaning this with soap, thought that would be very painful, but it wasn’t. It also didn’t help though, so maybe I was just doing it wrong.

This was probably the first point of impact when I fell. It seemed to happen pretty slowly so I was sure I would be able to stop it from happening, but I obviously didn’t. Probably landed on this hand and then rolled onto my left shoulder or something. And then my right arm again, and then both my knees???? Idk.

You (obviously) can’t see it all that well in this pic, but I noticed the scratches on my left hand/wrist went further down than I thought, and turning more bruise-ish as well.

Spectacular fall

I fell on the street yesterday. And I wasn’t even particularly drunk, it was on my way out rather than on my way back home as is more common obvs. This could have gone a whole lot worse, as I actually had a glass in my bag which was smashed, but no broken glass anywhere in my skin thankfully.

Some of these obviously look less dramatic now that the blood’s washed off and all, and there’s the ever recurring crappy laptop camera issue, but even so I’m sure you can imagine the combined effect of all these scratches and bruises.

1. Left shoulder

2. Right hand, palm

3. Right knee

4. Left hand, knuckle

5. Side of left knee

6. Left elbow

7. Left hand and wrist

I’m also pretty sure that everyone saw my underpants when this happened.

My very own needle bruises!

Of course, this holds nothing on the big Needle Bruise which I’m sure most of you remember. But that can’t really be helped.

These are from when I was in hospital (for the first time EVER!!! apart from being born obvs) in November because I had pneumonia and had to get some meds in my veins but sometimes they couldn’t find a vein straight away so this is what happened.

Needle Bruise

My friend Vilde has spent most of this autumn in the hospital with some rare disease or condition that no one seems to be able to figure out. Personally, I think it’s lupus, but the doctor’s haven’t asked for my advice yet.


Anyway, because Vilde is such a frail and delicate flower, this was the result of the incessant poking of her veins with needles. Impressive.


Glad to hear you’re out of there now V-dawg, and hope you’re feeling all better soon! If not though, keep sending me pix of your bruises.

Bedtime Bruise

I’m afraid it’s not as exciting as it sounds. I collided with a table whilst trying to get back into bed in the middle of the night and this was the result. Also, taking pictures of (kind of close to) your elbow is nearly as difficult as licking your elbow :(


….especially in my poorly lit room. Soz guize.


When I update this blog now I keep thinking of all the post subject/titles as titles for my blues blog instead (which I just then misspelt as bluise). It keeps me amused…

Mark’s Football Bruise

Like a hero, Mark was playing football in a car park when he fell off the kerb and landed on his wrist. This might sound like something I could have done, but it happened in Texas. Oh man.

Most of the bruisage is on his elbow because apparently, the shock of the impact traveled up his arm or something. STUFF, EH.

Without further ado, here is the evolution of Mark’s elbow bruise:

And finally, here is Mark with his arm in a sling, pulling a face which completely ruins the illusion of him being a big tough man:

But I bet he will be smiling now he’s INTERNET FAMOUS.